Thursday, August 18, 2005

Clio, where art thou?

The eminent blogger, Mr. Keilholtz, recently wrote a tidbit about American History seen through Catholic eyes. This brought to mind some of the funnier things that I've heard about history in the community college I attend.

My favorite fiction has to be the cats. The cats of the witches we burned, you see. We burnt the witches and their cats, slaughtering them by the hundreds. Once the cats were killed off (during the Inquisition), the rat population spiked, they swarmed - and spread the Black Death. We caused the decimation of the European population with our bigotry.

St. Thomas Aquinas was only a saint because he was a monk. The Church didn't even like him. In fact, his teachings bordered on heresy. But the Church tolerated him, because he was a monk - and thus we have his beautiful writings.

Dante didn't write the Inferno, Augustine did.


Anonymous said...

Oh no, I forgot about that. Excuse me while I go burn my parents' cat. That will surely please them!

"But, Mom, I wouldn't want you to get tempted into any witchcraft!"

Amalia might get sore about it, because, well, you know, cats are soft and furry and cute and all that, but once I explain it is for the good of her soul, well, that will settle it!

Fer sure!

Deirdre said...

They fought the dogs and killed the cats,
And bit the babies in the cradles,
And ate the cheeses out of the vats,
And licked the soup from the cooks' own ladles,
Split open the kegs of salted sprats,
Made nests inside men's Sunday hats,
And even spoiled the women's chats,
By drowning their speaking
With shrieking and squeaking
In fifty different sharps and flats.
-Pied Piper

At least Catholics are given credit for a job well done!