Saturday, August 13, 2005

I am not now nor ever have been...

I would like to begin this blog with a disclaimer. A nearby source has unfairly intimated that this blog is an attempt to get Catholic boyfriend(s). I must admit that there are virtually no Catholic young men in the Bay Area, and this has caused dismay within the cell of Catholic maidens who piously pray each day before some patron saint of marriage and hunt at seminaries, using their rosaries as lassos to catch some unwitting seminarian, unsure of his vocation, who wanders outside safe grounds. "Fancy thaaaat," they drawl, "you sing the Te Deum? Oh. My. Gosh. Meeee tooooo! Now tell me truly, do you prefer the Phrygian or Mixolydian mode for your Gregorian chant? ... Don't you think the Didache is a fascinating document? Isn't Jerome just too-too amusing? Ah...John Chrysostom - don't you think he had some interesting things to say about marriage?"

Admirable. That sums it up. Admirable - but only in the dedication to the goal, and not the goal itself, because a husband is much more than a means to attain the end of a nice Catholic family with children hanging off the chandeliers and quoting Church fathers - backwards, in alphabetical order, according to date and subject matter. To my mind, such marriages are rather vampiric in nature and not at all healthy. So, kids, remember, when you see the marriage madness dancing about in the eyes of some person and conversation turns lovingly to Fundamentals of Catholic dogma --- run! Run like the dickens!

1 comment:

Tattamus said...

My sister glances nervously over my shoulder, eager for the approval of an experienced blogger such as myself. I, the Tattemus, her younger brother shall deliver judgement onto this blog...

"Aww... So cute! So naive!"

Judgement having been delivered, I await with keen anticipation further bloggings. (Though I must say not bloggings of a similar nature... That was just plain freaky...)