Friday, September 09, 2005

Amen, woman.

Outside the office, a woman just walked by and emphatically said something like "Thank YOU, JESUS! You REALLY are an AWESOME Guy."

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Methinks the name of the blog may be attracting the wrong sort of milieu. On checking my stats, I found that some of the hits I get are not from upright citizens, but people looking for er. different things. How did I find that out? By clicking the link that shows where the person came from in the first place - and becoming Right Properly Scandalized.

Divest yourselves of such improper associations and put on the garment of understanding. To "give tongue" is a hunting term meaning that dogs... bark when they are on the trail of their prey. People can also "give tongue" when they cry aloud, and there is a certain quaint joy in imagining some adult yelling and galloping about in hot pursuit of an object, hair departing from its usual flat state, and limbs akimbo.

Too many people mince steps when they walk, or walk about with a bubble of sensitivity and self-consciousness that cries out for attention ("you're so vain - you pro'bly think this song is about you, don't you?"), and then others display a shocking irreverence for proper gait and slouch or waddle along - as if oozing down the sidewalk like gelatinous mass, or slowly creeping like a patch of mold in order to keep their pants (which are already about their knees) from falling - all the way down.

But galloping! Proper gait may be ditched for galloping, for galloping has a wholesome frankness about it. For those women interested in what manner women should walk -

"Here are just a few of the things a lady must keep in mind:

  • In walking, a woman's feet should be moderately turned out, the steps should be equal, firm and light. She should avoid a rapid pace, just as she should avoid a slow gait. And never should she shake from side to side when she walks.

  • Proper young ladies do not indulge in cosmetics, hair-dyes or other forms of insincerity in personal appearance.

  • Ladies do not wear pearls or diamonds in the morning."


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