Saturday, October 01, 2005

What's on the Menu?

I received my first traffic ticket a month or two ago, when debating about manly qualities with my sister in a car. Absorbed in my discussion, I neglected to keep an eye on the speedometer. A nice policeman reminded me, though, and gave me a pretty pink slip of paper lest I should forget. Now, even seeing a police car makes me wince - just as seeing a bee used to make me jump after some clever boys ahead of me decided to poke the yellow jacket's nest in the shrubbery.

The county in which I was collared does not accept internet traffic school certificates, so I must hie me ho to an actual, physical place. On flipping through the yellow pages to find the Most Perfect School that would finish me up properly, I hap'n'd upon a quasi Comedy-Traffic school. They give you two free comedy club passes if you attend this school. That sounded disreputable enough for me and as it is approved by the CA DMV, I signed straight on.

Today I go to my doom for ~8 hours. Oy vey!

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Fitting

Yesterday, I was happily driving to a discussion group and praying the rosary on the way. The beads slipped past, a happy feeling of peace permeated my being. Things seemed alright. "...Holy Mary," I whispered piously "MOTHER OF GOD, I'M ON A ONE WAY STREET!"

All sweetness forgotten, breaks were slammed and oncoming traffic was viewed in a manner not un-grim. Like a nightmare, the crosswalk behind me filled with teeming masses of people and cars lined up at the stop-sign on the two-way street that was my ticket to a safe haven - blocked! I couldn't move forwards or backwards because those heartless drivers, chortling over their steering wheels at the young girl going the wrong way on a one way, didn't even respect the right of way of me.

Now why would anyone want to play GTA-2 when real-life situations are already so titillating?

Monday, September 26, 2005

Concerning Obedience

Our pastor is from a foreign land. As such, he doesn't always pronounce things correctly. Today, he told the congregation that "without obedience all will be disorder and cows."

Mooo.