Friday, February 22, 2008


This morning, after I'd reset my alarum clock to allow me to sleep in some minutes, I had a nightmare. Recently, because my schedule permits, I've begun attending Mass more than once a week at a local parish. Every Sunday I go to a beautiful ordinary form of the Mass in Latin, so to go to a weekday Mass said in English and with a number of liturgical abuses, is a bit shocking. Sort of like going from Trader Joe's lightly salted organic chips to Ruffles (I know - the Eucharist is the Eucharist - why else would I go?). It must have made more of an impression than I'd realized.

In my nightmare, the priest had left the sanctuary and was wandering up and down the aisles delivering his hippy-dippy homily. Shadowy faces were in the pews about me, grinning in a vapid and garish manner. During the offertory, a woman with wavy dark hair smiled, stepped up to a podium and sang a pop-song. The priest who STILL wasn't in the sanctuary went up to her, patted her on the back, shook her hand, thanked her, turned to the laity and told us to give her a round of applause while she smiled in a suitably bashful manner. Then the priest began the sprinkling rite, and another pop song began - with tambourines. With tambourines! And the priest causally wandered into the aisles AGAIN, with a bucket of holy water. In my dream, as the shadowy faces about me started to chatter happily with each other, my mind was shouting "ASPERGES ME!!! ASPERGES MEEEEEEEEEEE!" but my mouth wouldn't open. Then my alarum clock went off.