A consecrated virgin friend of mine sent me a sweet email about how she fondly remembers that one time I hid a can of Guinness under my coat and discreetly passed it off to her at the Angelicum - amidst all the priests, sisters, and seminarians. I have no memory of this - smuggling beer to religious people is apparently not enough out of the ordinary for me to even note.
Food is one of the many ways in which I express my love.
If I like you, I will feed you. If I don't like you, I will take those
last few curly fries and make intense and uncomfortable eye-contact with
you as I eat them - the sort of eye-contact babies make with you when they poop
was recently over, sad and in need of comfort. Instead of hugging her, I
listed off every single food item I had that she could conceivably eat,
racking my mind to suggest something that might tempt her appetite.
Then I hugged her. Then I suggested she talk to a priest.
we're very sad, we tend to abstain from food because our taste for life
and all it entails is dulled. Eating becomes mechanical rather than
sensual; there is no joy. This is mirrored in our spiritual lives when
we go to Mass and receive the Eucharist - it's like some huge fist has
flattened out the entirety of our experiences so that even the most
profound one possible to man agitates no response.
urge to feed someone isn't misplaced. We need physical and spiritual
food; you only become more energized when you have energy to spend and
you only get energy through eating. Even though what we receive may seem
unbearably and unpalatably dry, it's necessary for recovery. Eventually, things might (might!)
begin to taste good again and we can lift up our drooping heads and
Perhaps the order should be a hug, then food,
then a good spiritual talk. One thing that I admittedly need to work on
is being more demonstrative in my emotions - they run too deep to have
an easy outlet. But without external signs, how are people to know that
you even care?
For now, I will simply keep trying to feed the people I care for - it is a sign that I know how to give - and work my way up to expressing human empathy in a way that's more relatable.
But Jesus did ask Peter to feed His sheep - perhaps a little bit of Guinness can lead to God.